Creator of Girls Gone Wild, Joe Francis, can’t stop

English: A picture of Joe Francis, owner of Ma...

Awful human being, Joe Francis (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…getting himself into trouble. I suppose it’s too much to ask of a man who has made his millions off the exploitation of drunk girls on Spring Break, but didn’t his mother ever teach him that when he doesn’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? He was recently convicted for false imprisonment and assault of three girls in his Bel-Air home described here:

The incident leading to the charges took place in January 2011. The victims, three women, met Francis at Hollywood’s Supper Club where they were partying in honor of a college graduation.

When the night was winding down, Francis “grabbed one of the women by the hand and took her to his limo,” elaborates L.A. Now. The other two women, thinking this was their lift to their car.

However, Francis’ bodyguard and driver whipped out “sheriff’s badges” and prohibited the women from leaving the limo. They were taken to Francis’ home, where he tried to separate one of the women from the trio, and a physical fight ensued.

During the scuffle, Francis grabbed one woman by her throat and hair, and slammed her head to the floor four times.

The women eventually broke free, and despite cautions from Francis not to do so, called 911 immediately to report the incident.

Seriously, what is wrong with this guy?

Well, as if to drive home the point of just how much of a scumbag Joe Francis is, he went on a rant about his “wrongful conviction” to The Hollywood Reporter which, if his goal was proving he is a psychopath, then he accomplished with flying colors.

“I want that jury to know that each and every one of you are mentally f–ing retarded and you should be euthanized because, as Darwin said, you have naturally selected yourself,” he shouts. “You are the weakest members of the herd. Goodbye! And if that jury wants to convict me because I didn’t show up, which is the only reason why they did, then, you know, they should all be lined up and shot!”

Charles-Darwin-1880-631

“Hey, don’t drag me into this shit!” – Charles Darwin, reacting to Joe Francis’ statement. (source: smithsonianmag)

Besides an affinity for eugenics, the rant speaks to a mind that has clearly broken with reality. It exists in a plane of hyper-egotism that ceases to have any limitations. Throughout the pathetic statement is a disgusting sense of entitlement that, I think, could easily justify taking three women hostage and physically assaulting them for not submitting to the whims of “the great” Joe Francis. Perhaps, we should update the Miranda Rights to include: Anything you say to The Hollywood Reporter can and will be used against you in the court of law.

Of course, because this is the age we live in, Joe Francis issued a quick apology that was about as sincere as instance that he is innocent. 2013 might have a big contender for the very best non-apology and we’re only in May!

I deeply regret the remarks attributed to me in the interview with the Hollywood Reporter. They were hurtful and do not reflect my true feelings. While I disagree with the jury’s verdict as I am completely innocent of the charges and intend to appeal, I was afforded a fair trial, and if I lose at the appellate level, I will reluctantly but fully accept the jury’s verdict. This was a 6 hour interview with the Hollywood reporter where I detailed to the reporter all of the evidence and why I believed the evidence showed I am 100% innocent. The reporter also interviewed my attorney David Houston for over 3 hours, but failed to include one shred of evidence from the trial that proved beyond a reasonable doubt my innocence. I did NOT commit a crime at all whatsoever. All that was publicized were my most intemperate remarks that were borne out of frustration but with no intent to cause anyone harm. I am not, nor have I ever been a violent person. My comments are appalling, but anyone who has ever been wrongfully convicted of a crime that they did NOT commit would be as frustrated as I am. I want to apologize to all the jurors, the court, the City Attorney and my attorneys for my comments that were manipulated by the media, and please know I am truly ashamed of my conduct. I am truly, truly sorry. I hope everyone will understand I was not being serious and that I fully and deeply apologize for my remarks.

For some reason Joe Francis seems to be stuck on the fact that if he were proven innocent it would somehow justify him saying he thinks a jury of his peers should be lined up and shot. Joe, that isn’t really the problem. As you said,  you had a fair trial, and even probably a little bit in your favor given the amount of money you can put forward to hire a good attorney (who is probably regretting ever taking this case, as we speak). You’re not being victimized, but you are showing that you seem capable of committing the crimes you were charged with.

And as with any good non-apology, Joe insists that he wasn’t being serious. Would that change anything? Would the rant have looked any different if it were serious? There isn’t any indication during the rant that he isn’t being serious. Of course, maybe he means that if the jurors were lined up and shot per his wishes he would have felt a pang of regret. A wacky misunderstanding! “You idiots!” Joe would cry. “I wasn’t being serious!” *cue laugh track*. No, luckily even though Joe was probably being serious, no one takes him seriously.

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2 comments

  1. jamie (the other one)

    I like how he even fucked up the “you are the weakest link”. Also do you know why it wasn’t considered kidnapping?

    • jamesonstarship

      Not sure. From the description it seems like it could have been. Sometimes though, they will drop charges if they think it will be harder to prove and might endanger the whole case, so maybe they weren’t entirely sure they could prove that the women didn’t knowingly go to his house. Just a guess.

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